Bertha, we were rooting for you. We were all rooting for you.
I haven’t watched America’s Next Top Model since 2008, but the format stays with ya, ya know? And as I watched The Gilded Age Season 3 finale, I felt like we were having an ANTM-style competition of who is America’s Next Top Mother.
“Mother,” of course, is a term the youths use to describe a woman who is intangibly iconic: formidable, fabulous, fierce…you get the idea. The Gilded Age has, arguably, the strongest cast of all time, especially their ladies (so many Tony winners), and the mothers were mothering all season long. But which one will come out on top in this experiment?
Some honorable mentions
Christine Baranski as Agnes
Participation award. Christine Baranski is always going to be Mother to me, and not just because I recently rewatched The Birdcage. This week Agnes channeled Maggie Smith on Downton Abbey when she said, among other zingers, “I’m never wrong.”
Phylicia Rashad as Mrs. Kirkland
This lady was mean and bitter all season…but fabulous. I loved to hate her episode after episode and was planning to end this season hating her even more for making sweet, sad Peggy cry. She makes the list because she finally learned to leave well enough alone.
Miranda?
Amazingly, Aunt Ada (Cynthia Nixon) came to play this week. While her 2025-era HBO doppelganger severely embarrassed herself and got farted on in a recent episode of And Just Like That’s version of NYC, Ada came through in The Gilded Age for being annoying AF to Marion and Larry, helping reunite the young lovers.
Donna Murphy as Mrs. Astor/Mother Gothel
Mother did NOT know best for most of the season (that’s a Tangled reference, folks), but, like the snobbish Mrs. Kirkland, Mrs. Astor got over herself. She put on all the jewelry and marched over to the ball to support her divorcing daughter. I got a little misty when she told Charlotte she loved her more than she loves society.
Kelli O’Hara as Mrs. Fane
For being a brave single lady, donning her geegaws, and going to the ball.
Top 3
3. Carrie Coon as Bertha Russell
I was rooting for you! We were all rooting for you!
Bertha, it’s really not your fault that you lost big this season. I blame Railroad Daddy. You did everything right. You networked like a Six Sigma Black Belt and got your family to the top of the social ladder. You could have kicked Mrs. Astor and Mrs. Fane in the faces as you climbed over them to get to the top, but you didn’t. You successfully bred your daughter (more on that later), and your son got engaged to Meryl Streep’s daughter. You had it all. But, without Railroad Daddy, you’re nothing.
2. Audra McDonald as Peggy’s Mom
It hurts me that McDonald didn’t take home the top prize at this year’s Tony Awards—and also in this competition of my own invention. She raced to the top of the pack when she comforted sweet, sad Peggy. But that dressing down of Mrs. Kirkland in the dress shop took the cake and gave me actual chills. And yes, that dress is perfect. I love you forever.
Before we reveal America’s Next Top Mother, let’s check in with the Dukes, Daddies, and Docs:
- Loser Daddy: Railroad Daddy. I flipped off my TV in that last scene with Railroad Daddy. It’s all your fault that Bertha isn’t the Top Mom. Bow to your queen!
- Hot Doc: Dr. Kirkland, my word. That was a Bridgerton–style arc for you. Saving Railroad Daddy (ugh, still mad), breaking my sweet Peggy’s heart, and then coming back from behind to propose to her at the ball? I burn for you.
- New Daddy: The Duke. For locking that down.
- America’s Best Dad: Brian Stokes Mitchell. Dr. Kirkland’s dad handled his wife’s snobbery and meddling with gravitas. The Tony winner is a delightful addition to the cast this season, especially when onscreen with Ragtime co-star Audra McDonald. I’ll do basically anything to hear this man’s voice, so his big scene made me extra thrilled.
And the winner of America’s Next Top Mother is…
Taissa Farmiga as Gladys!!!
I have a sixth sense for knowing when people are knocked up on TV or in real life and the minute I saw this kid’s face, I knew she was joining the ranks: She’s a mommy.
Mother came into her own last week when she overtook sister-in-law Sarah at the dinner table, likely fueled with chutzpah from mom Bertha’s support and the excessive amount of estrogen coursing through her newly pregnant veins (I think that’s how pregnancy works). But in a twist I for sure saw coming, Gladys is preggo!
She started the season the most annoying character ever (that award now goes to Marian), and has ended up America’s Next Top Mother! She wins a Revlon contract (lie) and will probably die next season.
