The Last of Us star Nico Parker isn’t emotionally ready to deal with the events of season 2.

The actress, who starred as Joel’s (Pedro Pascal) daughter Sarah for “a good 30 minutes” in the first season of the award-winning video game adaptation, revealed on Tuesday’s episode of Late Night that she still hasn’t tuned in for round two because she can’t stomach having to watch her beloved onscreen dad meet his tragic end.

“I haven’t watched the second season because the idea of seeing him die is so deeply distressing,” Parker confessed. “But I’m a huge fan of Bella [Ramsey] and Kaitlyn Dever and Isabela [Merced] and Gabriel [Luna] and all of them, so I do want to watch it because I want to see them. But Pedro dying is just a lot.”

The 20-year-old noted that she’s trying to get better at handling Pedro’s many film and television deaths in general. “I watched Gladiator II and he dies in that and I was totally fine,” Parker added.

“Yeah, because at some point you realize, you know, they’re just movies,” host Seth Meyers teased. Parker agreed, adding, “He’s just gonna keep dying.”

After decades of facing off against clickers and bloaters and runners (oh my!), Pascal’s character Joel is brutally murdered by Abby (Dever) in the second episode of The Last of Us season 2. His death serves as the inciting action that pushes a grief-stricken Ellie (Ramsey) to travel to Seattle seeking vengeance.

Parker isn’t the only one having difficulty coping with Joel’s demise. While those who played The Last of Us games have been aware of his fate for years, Joel’s death at the beginning of the second season came as a massive shock to many viewers, who have since gone on to express their ire over the decision to co-showrunner Craig Mazin.

“The big complaint that I’ve gotten is, ‘Why did you kill Pedro Pascal?’ And I keep explaining, we didn’t kill him!” Mazin told Variety. “He’s a man, he’s alive. He’s fine. And he’s in literally everything else. So I don’t know what the problem is!”

Pascal himself is even having a hard time letting go of Joel, previously telling Entertainment Weekly that he’s still in a state of “active denial” about his beloved character’s death.

“I realize this more and more as I get older, I find myself slipping into denial that anything is over,” he said at the time. “I know that I’m forever bonded to so many members of the experience and just have to see them under different circumstances, but never will under the circumstances of playing Joel on The Last of Us. And, no, I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about it because it makes me sad.”

His sister Lux Pascal added that she considers it to be her brother’s worst onscreen death in his decades-long career. “I have to say that being Pedro Pascal’s sister, I knew how that episode would end,” she admitted. “I knew what was going to happen. But even so, I saw it and I wanted to throw the iPad.”

She continued, “It’s not the first time he’s done it to me. It’s not the second time he’s done it to me. I think it’s the fourth time he’s done it to me. Because how many deaths has he had? Game of Thrones, Equalizer 2, The Last of Us — each is more violent than the other… seeing my brother die that way, I didn’t like it at all.”

Watch Parker discuss The Last of Us season 2 in the clip above.