• Call Me By Your Name author André Aciman revealed that the novel’s famed peach scene almost didn’t make the final book
• The author spoke on a panel with author Sigrid Nunez and moderator Soraya Nadia McDonald during the PEN America World Voices Festival on May 2 in New York
• Aciman’s book was adapted into the Oscar-winning 2017 film of the same name, starring Timothée Chalamet and Armie Hammer

One memorable scene from Call Me By Your Name almost didn’t come to be, says the novel’s author André Aciman.

The bestselling writer was in conversation with critic Soraya Nadia McDonald and author Sigrid Nunez during a panel at the PEN America World Voices Festival on May 2 in New York. The discussion centered on Aciman and Nunez’s novels, which have been adapted for the screen.

Aciman’s 2007 novel was turned into the 2017 Oscar-winning film starring Timothée Chalamet and Armie Hammer. The story follows Elio (Chalamet), a teenager who begins a romance with an older graduate student named Oliver (Hammer) over the course of one summer in 1980s Italy.

But Aciman said during the panel that he almost cut one well-known scene in both the book and film, in which Elio masturbates into a peach.

“Basically, I was not going to write the scene,” Aciman said. “And the [book] editor said, ‘No, absolutely it has to stay.’ And I didn’t know that it was going to be filmed. So I’m feeling mortified. I’m cringing as I’m watching this happening and I’m saying to myself, ‘Oh, you did write this book.’”

“I think that this is a marker. It stays with me and I live with it and I enjoy it,” the author added. “I mean, I love speaking about that peach scene, okay? That’s not a problem for me … but by and large, certain things stay with you for the rest of your life, and that’s fine.”

Aciman said that it took 10 years for the film to be made after the novel rights were sold. The author chose to take a backseat throughout the filmmaking process, and was okay with director Luca Guadagnino and screenwriter James Ivory taking creative liberty with the source material.

“I said, ‘Look, do whatever you want. I don’t want to get involved. I’ve written the novel, I’ve done my part. You’re going to make the movie,” Aciman recalled. “And they liked that … I was very conciliatory and cooperative and I went to the screen set only for two days.”

The author did recall one standout change from the book — notably, the film’s last scene, in which Elio sits alone in front of the fireplace after he learns Oliver is engaged.

“I was told by the director, ‘The very last scene, we’re going to have [Elio] crying.’ And I said, ‘Oh my God, that’s exactly not what I wrote,’” Aciman said. “But at the same time, he’s not just crying. He’s smiling, he’s recollecting. And it’s a beautiful moment — So much so that I said to the movie director, ‘Your ending of the film is better than the ending of my novel.’”

Aciman is the author of several novels and essay collections, including Call Me By Your Name‘s sequel Find Me, Enigma Variations and My Roman Year. Despite the success of Call Me, Aciman noted that he initially didn’t see the story having much potential.

“I thought that I was writing a novel that I was probably never going to publish and that nobody would want to publish. So I started with that, but I felt I wanted to write it,” Aciman said.

“On the other hand, you are always confronted by people who say you’ve changed their lives,” he added. “Many people have used my books as a way of coming out to their parents or for the parents to help the child or the son or the daughter to come out to them.”

“But did I know this was going to happen? Absolutely not,” he added. “I didn’t know a host of things that my books have generated and radiated to the whole public.”